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| Contributed by Senor Guapo | |
| Sunday, 09 November 2008 | |
Mrs. Guapo had the back problem a couple of weeks ago, and recently
she’s been having severe abdominal pain. Today we’re going to the
hospital today for an ultrasound test on her gall bladder. She thinks
these problems are symptoms of aging. She is 30 years old after all.
I told her to wait until she gets some hemorrhoids. Then she’ll feel
some real pain. At least that’s what I’ve heard.Last night we were in the middle of class when an abdominal pain episode attacked Mrs. Guapo. She quietly asked me to take over. She sat in a chair. She rebuked some students who were laughing at me (I’m somewhat wacky). After a while she left to go lay down in the car. I continued along the lesson plan that Mrs. Guapo had started. Like the last time I tried to let the students do the work. Instead of me trying to hammer information into their heads, through exercise and repetition they learned. At about the mid point break I finished that lesson. The prior class we started teaching the names of the various different body parts, but we ran out of time. I wanted closure so I reopened that lesson. I drew the outline of a head on the board, and then one by one I requested a student to add a part of the face. “Marisol, draw the eyes.” “Armando, draw the mouth.” I thought the end result might be a funny looking face, but it was horrible. We have a nice class. It’s a nice group of people. No one is arrogant or difficult or angry. But the one thing we are missing is a class clown. We don’t have a class clown. I’ve never seen a class without a class clown. Usually no matter what group of people you have, someone is going to want attention and use humor to try to get it thereby emerging as the class clown. But we don’t have a class clown. So I had to use Araceli. Araceli has crazy eyes. She has that look on her face like she’s mischievous. But she’s not. She’s very mature. She’s very accepting of everyone. She doesn’t try to be something that she’s not. Her sister has a medical problem so she asked us to help fill out some forms. In the process we told her that we like tamales so she turned us on to a woman who passes by our town every other week selling tamales. They were pretty good. So I asked Araceli to stand up. She’s not the class clown, but she would have to do. I used her body parts to reinforce to the class the names of the body parts. Then I had everyone stand up, and we did the “head - shoulders - knees - and -toes” routine. I didn’t sing the song. Maybe next class if Mrs. Guapo can’t come I’ll ask one of the other assistants to lead the “head - shoulders - knees - and - toes - knees - and toes” song. After that we reviewed describing the weather and telling time. I intend to ask each student about the weather and time every time I see them thereby continue to reinforce the lessons. After class I collected the books (they won’t permit the students to take the books home) and put away the class materials. By the time I turned the lights out, the students were gone. When I got to the car, Mrs. Guapo told me that two of the students had passed by and told her that they like the way I teach. At my job they give out awards more liberally than psychiatrists give out Ritalin. They’re in the form of plaques. If you sit in a chair and breathe for eight hours a day, then you’ll sooner or later get one of these. Some people hang them on their office walls. I throw mine away. Joe Strummer would take a dump on it before throwing it out, but I just throw them out sans dump in the interest of hygiene and sanitation. Compliments from a couple of students are much more valuable to me than a plaque. If I could hang that on a wall, I would. So I was flying high. The man is back. I’m the wiz, and nobody beats me. Maybe Northwestern University would give me an honorary doctorate in education because of my natural teaching skills. Perhaps the Obama administration would be interested in someone with such talent. But then the next class, only half the people showed up. As Mrs. Guapo taught I sulked in a chair. I put on my Dave Hlubek signature mirrored sunglasses. When you have attendance of 10 to 15 people for two months and then the next class only half show up, then there has to be a reason. Mrs. Guapo insisted that it had nothing to do with me and that she had heard nothing but positive comments about my performance. Sure enough the next class we had near full attendance again. But the thought lingers in my mind. |
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